My Wife is Breaking while I freefall through space

D is still in the hospital. There was a meeting yesterday to discuss our long term goals for her and the best possible avenues for treatment. It was decided that, even though she was being discharged, we should not pick her up. Leaving her there would allow Division of Family Services to be involved, and would therefore open the door to non-privatized treatment.

A true failure of our modern medical system.

Only once we give up our rights, or at least request emergency custody by the state will they attempt to help us. The assaults, self mutilation, suspected trauma, sexual abuse, assassination claims and bipolar (possibly asperger) diagnosis were not enough. We have to give her up to the state — or pay for treatment ourselves.

What about Insurance?

We have insurance, but they only cover up to 30 days of residential treatment and no more than 20 therapy visits. This is the same for both my insurance (United Healthcare) and S’ insurance (Blue Cross / Blue Shield). 30 days. The rest is up to us. There is noting to cover long term care or treatment. In fact, insurance really doesn’t so much of anything. They won’t cover most medicines now and any doctor worth their weight won’t accept insurance. So what’s the point?

But the worst part about all of this is that my wife is, once again, starting to crumble.

She is not happy that D currently has 24 hour constant care, and, besides being in a social environment, she is also being cared for at a level that we can not provide. In fact, it is tearing her apart. She is constantly hysterical and unable to appropriately react to normal situations. Her anxiety has skyrocketed, and her current level of guilt is at a very dangerous level.

She may have to go away for a while.

It has been suggested, by everyone involved actually, that my wife be sent away to a short term residential facility where she can have constant therapy, proper medicine regulation, and work out her current angst. I don’t know if i can do that. I am afraid for her. For us.
It is a difficult step to admit that your own wife needs help. What would I tell people if she went away? Would they understand? Would we have a permanent brand? I don’t want to add to her already low self esteem. Mine is rapidly declining as well.

I am officially lost and confused.

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